And Now I Cannot Touch You
by Soul Raider 116
Summary: When Kagura get's raped by Black Haru, not one can get near her, not even her beloved Kyou. Please don't read this if you are only going to criticize the fact it's about rape, I don't want any complaints on subject matter, i warned you what it was
1. Alone With The Cow Boy

Kagura stood in Shigures kitchen. When she had arrived to visit Kyou, no one had been home except for Tohru, and so, Kagura had agreed to help her friend prepare dinner for when the others arrived. As she prepared the pots and such that would be needed to cook the meal, she looked over to see the younger girl placing some leeks on the counter and she blinked at her. "Tohru….you do remember that Kyou doesn't like leeks, don't you?"

"Oh!" Tohru blinked as a droplet of sweat trickled down the back of her head. "I nearly forgot! Thanks Kagura" she smiled some as she went to get some salmon out, since she knew that Kyou would eat that, if nothing else. "Oh dear…"

"Tohru? Is something the matter?" Kagura walked over to Tohru.

"Oh no….everything's fine Kagura! I'm sooo sorry if I made you worry…it's just we seem to be out of salmon!"

"Well…" the older girl gave her cute little smile to Tohru "that simply wont do! It's my Kyou's favorite after all! I know! I'll run out and get some!" She began to unfasten her apron but Tohru shook her head.

"No Kagura…let me go…it's my responsibility, besides, don't you want to wait here for Kyou to get back?" Tohru took off her apron and headed out the door calling over her shoulder, "just work on the rest of dinner till I get back!"

Kagura set about preparing the leek stew that Tohru had selected to be the main course. It was good to know that when she was gone, her Kyou was in such good care, although she couldn't help but wonder sometimes whether he liked Tohru more than her. She sighed slightly at the thought. Well…..she'd just have to try harder to show Kyou how much she loved him. At that moment she heard a sound from the porch, and hoping it was the boy she loved she raced to meet him at the door, flinging it wide open with a rather dramatic flourish that would have made her older cousin Ayame very proud.

There on the porch stood Haru, he was wearing his usual white coat, with the fur around the collar. He blinked as he saw Kagura standing there, and then smirked a little. "If you're here that cat must be around…"

"Oh….hi Haru. Kyou isn't here…but hopefully he'll be back very soon!" Her eyes glassed over slightly as she thought of the wonderful welcome she would give him. How she had missed him having not seen him for so long!

Haru raised a brow at her "yeah…ok then, I can wait…but you'd better let me get to him first…I don't want him any weaker than he already is when I fight him!"

Kagura blinked at her younger cousin "Hatsuharu Souma! Don't you lay a hand on Kyou while I'm in this house!" She went back towards the kitchen and went back to preparing dinner.

Haru followed her into the kitchen, still having his heart set on fighting the cat. Last time he had tried to fight Kyou; the orange haired boy had been stronger than he had thought he would be. This time, Haru would win, "nah…I'm gonna fight that stupid cat…and I'll win this time." The mere fact that Kyou wasn't even at the house had started to irritate him, all that way to fight the baka neko, and he wasn't even there. Even if Yuki had been there, it would have made the trip a little worth while.

Kagura turned to face him, her eyes blazing some as threats were made to her Kyou. She wouldn't stand for it. She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind that it was a stupid move, but Haru had upset her, and she had a dark side of her own if she got irritated. She poked a finger at his nose as she glared sternly at him, "Don't…..touch…..Kyou!"

Haru brushed her hand aside, as if she could really do anything to him. Her pushy attitude was ticking him off even more; his eyes gleamed dangerously as he was on the verge of snapping. "I'll touch Kyou if I want to touch him!"

Kagura made the final mistake of smacking him hard in the back of her head, Haru's eyes snapped wide open and he suddenly grabbed her by the back of her shirt, lifting her slightly off the ground as he glared into her eyes. "Oh, now you've done it…I know just how to hit Kyou where it hurts! I'll just take his little pet piggy!"

"H-Haru!" Kagura's eyes widened with fear, she'd seen Haru black before, but this was something new and scary. "What are you doing? Stop! You're scaring me!"

"What I'm DOING is trying to make my little trip worth while! I come all the way out here and Kyou's not even here…" he pushed her roughly to the ground.

"HARU!" she started too tried to get to her feet, but was once again shoved roughly down as his foot connected with her chest. She landed on the ground again, the breath knocked out of her as she stared up at him in horror.

"Now stay still…" he pinned her to the ground, kissing her neck roughly, pulling her hair some. If Haru had a white and black side, this was an even darker, third side. He shoved her skirt up around her hips. Unfastening his pants, letting them drop around his ankles, smirking as he watched her horrified face. He grabbed her chin roughly in one hand, "scared Kagura? Don't be…I won't hurt you…too bad!" He threw himself down on top of her, viciously kissing her lips as tears began to well up in the poor girls eyes. Haru's hands roughly grasped her wrists, pinning them over her head. Using his knees he forced Kagura's legs apart, slipping himself in between.

She could feel him probing at her, as she tried to scream out for help. She was stopped as one hand released a wrist, delivering a harsh slap to her face. "You scream and I'll just make it ten times worse Kagura!"

Tears poured from her eyes as she could hardly manage out a whisper. "Please…Haru…stop…"

But the cow wouldn't be reasoned with. She cried out as he roughly shoved himself inside of her. He grabbed her hair in one hand, yanking her head to one side, biting and kissing her neck. He shoved himself as far into her as he could, and she let out another cry. He began to thrust himself upon her viciously, a steady, pulsing beat. She was shuddering with fear, and he trembled with rage and lust. "That's right!" he snapped out at her, jerking her head about by the hair as his steady thrusts picked up tempo. Faster and deeper he drove himself into her.

All Kagura could do was lie there whimpering as Haru ravaged her savagely. If she had known that he was hiding something inside his mind, something even darker than black Haru, she never would have risked provoking it. Her face was red, and stained by tears; her choking sobs reverberated through the kitchen as the vicious rape continued.


	2. The Cat Came Back

((Fruits Basket is not mine. Although i did have a tummy apple this morning... Oh, read and Review Please and Thank You))

It was an hour later before anyone else arrived. On her way to the store, Tohru had run into Yuki, and he had convinced her to take a walk with him to his secret base, oblivious to the horrors befalling Kagura in Shigures kitchen. Kyou was out walking, he had heard Kagura was coming, and decided he would rather not be there to be pulverized when she came. He had found himself a sunny spot on the roof of the school, and fallen asleep. Suddenly he sat up, just having a feeling, something wasn't right. He turned to look towards the house, and saw what looked like a couple of pigs hurrying in that general direction.

" what the….that's not a good sign…something isn't right…" he took the fall from the roof to the ground in on swift jump, not caring to waste time on the ladder, and began to run back towards the house. "Dammit! Something bad's happening…I know it!"

Yuki was laughing and smiling at Tohru as they walked back towards Shigures, suddenly a blur of orange hair raced past them. "Kyou?" Yuki watched the cat run by then turned to Tohru "Miss Honda…didn't you say that Kagura was here today?"

"Yeah, why?" she blinked at him genuinely confused.

"well…Shigure mentioned a couple days ago that Kagura might be visiting today…and it seems a little odd for Kyou to be in such a rush to get to a place where he knot's she is…" he picked up his pace some as he spoke.

"Your right, Yuki…something isn't right…" the two broke into a run back towards Shigures house. When they got there they froze in the kitchen doorways at the scene they saw before them. There on the floor in the corner of the kitchen was Kagura. She was curled up into a ball, sobbing and hiccupping, obviously horribly upset, and surrounded by a half a dozen boars that had somehow managed to find their way into the house. Kyou stood stalk still in the middle of the kitchen, staring at her, wide eyed and slack jawed.

"Kagura?" he took a step forward as he voiced his concern.

But the girl in the corner just curled herself up tighter, screaming at him "GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Kagura…it's ok…it's me, Kyou…" he took another step towards her.

"GO AWAY! DON'T….DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!"

The cat froze in his tracks, not wanting to upset her anymore. "Kagura…calm down…I won't touch you…"

Yuki looked from Kyou to Kagura and back again, "what happened, Kyou?"

"Hell if I know…she was like this when I got here…all curled up like that and crying…and she won't let me talk to her long enough to tell me anything…"

Tohru ventured a step into the kitchen, thinking perhaps she should try, "Kagura? What's happened?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME! ALL OF YOU JUST GO AWAY!"

"KAGURA!" Kyou glared at her some; the tone of his voice caused her to curl tighter into herself. He took a deep breath trying to calm down, "dammit woman! How are we supposed to help if you don't say what's wrong!"

She winced some, and her arms, which were cupped over her head to shield herself moved just enough for Kyou to see the bruises on her neck and face. He stopped his tirade and stared for the few moments before she shifted back to hiding them. "What the….Kagura, what…who did that!"

Suddenly three heads turned upwards as footsteps were heard upstairs, and one scared girl curled as tightly as she could against herself. Who ever had done this to her was still in the house.

Without a second thought Kyou barged out of the kitchen, shoving roughly past Tohru and Yuki. He raced up the stairs, and Yuki went after him, telling Tohru to stay with Kagura. Suddenly Yuki and Tohru heard a shout from Kyou, "YOU!"

Yuki ran faster, but stopped dead when he saw the boy with black and white hair at the top of the steps…it was Haru, "Haru? How could you!" Yuki was beyond disbelief as he stared at his younger cousin.

Haru, having for some reason not yet gone back to white Haru, was standing at the top of the stares, smirking at Kyou. Even Kyou could sense something wasn't right with this, he turned and looked at Yuki, "this whole thing….it happened a while ago…Haru…" he clenched his fist in rage at just the mention of Haru's name, "Haru told me…just before you got up here…it was like an hour ago….he…should have calmed down by now…"

Yuki looked from Kyou to Haru, "what was an hour ago?"

"He….he…." Kyou was shaking physically; he couldn't bear to say what had happened.

Haru's smirk just widened "I took his little girlfriend and I-"

Kyou was on Haru before he could finish, he had hold of him by his collar, his fist ready to come pounding down on the cow's face, "YOU! YOU SICK LITTLE BASTARD!"

"Oooh….kitty's mad? I knew I could get to you if I took your-"

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Kyou!" Yuki grabbed hold of Kyou's arms, trying to calm him down. "Kyou! Stop it!"

Still keeping a firm grasp on Haru's shirt, Kyou turned to face Yuki, fire in his eyes. Kyou had never been quite so angry before, "STOP IT! STOP IT! AFTER WHAT THIS SON OF A BITCH DID TO KAGURA!"

"Kyou….you're just giving him exactly what he wanted if you fight him over this!"

With a menacing growl, he let go of Haru's collar, shoving him back as he did. "You ain't worth my time cowboy…." Then he turned to Yuki, still glaring hotly, "but some had better do something….and damn fast too…cuz I'll kill him….you'd better not leave us alone together….cuz I swear if you do, that cow is dead, you got that!"

"Yes Kyou…I understand….now, go check on Kagura, ok?" Yuki watched as Kyou left then stepped closer to Hatsuharu. He glared at the younger Souma, letting out a low agitated sigh, "Haru….what on earth were you thinking! I never knew you could do something like this! Even in your black state I…." he stopped as he got close, and caught a sent clinging to the boy, "Haru! You reek of alcohol!"

Haru just let out a sharp barking laugh, "so what if I had a few drinks? I'm allowed to enjoy myself!"

"Hmmm…..I'd say this explain a lot. Alcohol alters you state of mind…your mood! With even a couple drinks in your system, Haru, it could make it easier to provoke your black side…and it explains why you've stayed black so long…."


	3. Kyou, Call the Doctor

((fruits basket and all it's Characters do not belong to me, unfortunately))

In the kitchen, Tohru knelt beside Kagura, not touching her as the girl was still whimpering softly about not wanting touched. Kyou was sitting outside of the kitchen, and upon looking up he noticed Yuki coming.

"Where is he…you didn't let him go did you…"the cat had calmed down some, though he was obviously still pissed as hell, he was just controlling it better.

Yuki sighed and sat down beside Kyou "no…he's in my room…I tied him to the foot of the bed so he wouldn't run…once he's sobered up, and gone back to white Haru, we can decide what to do with him.

Kyou blinked at the rat, "you mean…he's drunk!"

"Stupid cat…you got as close as you were to him, and didn't notice he reeked of alcohol?"

"I wasn't really paying attention; I was a little upset you know…." Kyou crossed his arms and looked away from his cousin.

"Right…so, how's Kagura doing?

"Don't know…she doesn't even want me in the room….in fact…Tohru lucky to be in there…Kagura was wailing like crazy as when Tohru walked over to her…I don't think Tohru knows what happened to Kagura…"

"lets not tell Tohru, for now, she'll figure out soon enough…but we don't want to scare her, when Haru's back to being white, then we can sort things out and it will be ok…"

"IT WILL NOT YOU…" he calmed himself down some "you damn rat…that bastard…he…he raped her! Rape, do you hear! He not getting away with it just cuz he's like bipolar or something!"

"No one said we're letting him get away with anything. Don't worry, Haru will be punished for this…ok Kyou?" Slightly out of character for the rivals, Yuki placed a comforting hand on Kyou's shoulder, and Kyou gave him a small, though phony smile, "someone should call Hatori to come look at Kagura…"

"I'll do it…there's nothing else for me to do for her….she won't let me near her…."

"Ok then. You call Hatori, tell him exactly what happened. To the best of our knowledge at least."

Kyou nodded and headed for the phone, his mind still stuck on Kagura…yeah, he'd be pissed of if he'd found out this happened to anyone…but for some reason, this felt personal. Kyou had no clue why it should, he didn't have any kind of special relationship with Kagura, despite what she might think….at least…he never thought that he felt that way for her…no…no, she was his cousin, and a pain in his ass, nothing more. He picked up the phone and dialed, listening to it ring as he stayed lost in his own thoughts.

After several rings the doctor picked up, answering in his usual stoic tone. "Hello, Hatori speaking..."

Kyou's voice from the other end of the line sounded even more pissed and depressed than usual. "Hatori…get over here…"

"Kyou? What's happened?"

"I-it's Kagura…"

Hearing the concern as Kyou mentioned Kagura's name, Hatori know that it had to be serious. He quirked a brow, "Kagura? What's happened?"

"She….it…J-just get the hell over here!"

"I'll be over in a moment…but I would like to know what I'm going to be dealing with so I can come prepared."

"FINE! She….she got raped…." Kyou's tone was soft, and sad, clearly upset.

"Raped! Ok, I'll be right over…." There was a click as Hatori hung up the phone. The doctor rushed around the room, grabbing his bag, grabbing up the things he would need to treat Kagura. Then he hurried out the door and made his way to Shigures house.

Kyou hung up the phone and walked back over towards the kitchen. Yuki was no longer sitting outside the door; probably he had gone to see if Haru was back to normal yet. The cat poked his head into the kitchen; Kagura was still curled up in a ball on the floor, whimpering like a baby. Kyou let out a soft sigh, as he looked at her; she was so weak looking right now, hard to believe that this was the same girl who nearly killed him every time she saw him. This Kagura looked as though she could hardly harm a fly. With a deep breath he ventured a couple steps into the kitchen, and looked at Tohru, "how is she?"

Tohru shook her head as she looked at the crumpled girl, who cringed at the very sound of Kyou's voice. He walked a little closer, as he did so Kagura curled tighter into herself, "Kagura…" Kyou whispered softly as he crouched a couple feet away, she whimpered softly, and Kyou looked at Tohru, "hey Tohru, Hatori should be coming soon, why don't you go wait by the door for him…"

Tohru nodded "right, I'll leave you alone with Kagura for a little while"

Just as Tohru hurried out of the kitchen, Kagura cried out "NO! Don't leave me alone with him! Don't leave me alone! Don't…..don't….." It faded into a soft murmuring, just the word don't, chanted softly and tearfully, over and over.

Kyou continued to crouch a few feet away "it's ok Kagura, it's me, Kyou" he whispered softly and reassuringly, a little out of his normal behavior pattern, but then, there was nothing normal at all about the whole situation. "Kagura…don't worry….I won't let Haru get away with this…"

Kagura cringed at the sound of the cow's name, the tears beginning again, and Kyou moved closer, pulling her into a gentle hug, cradling her head, it would have been a sweet moment, if she had not immediately shoved him away screaming at the top of her lungs "GET AWAY! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Immediately Kyou scooted back a few feet, Yuki and Tohru rushed into the kitchen when they heard the poor girl's screams, "Kyou! Kagura! What happened!"

"I…I'm not sure, I mean, I tried…I just tried to hug her, to let her know it would all be ok…I thought, I mean….dammit! I just wanted to help!" he got up and walked to the door of the kitchen, not looking back as he headed to the porch and sat, waiting for Hatori.


	4. And Now I Cannot Touch You

(much to my dismay...Fruits Basket and it's character do not belong to me...)

Hatori arrived quickly, rushing to the door, not having to knock because Kyou was waiting already. The cat opened the door and led the doctor immediately to the kitchen, pointing to Kagura, who was still curled in a corner, Tohru and Yuki were sitting against the wall outside the kitchen, and as Kyou led Hatori past them, they looked up, it was plain by the look on Tohru's face that she now knew what had happened, whether she had figured it out herself, or Yuki had told her.

When Hatori saw the girl huddled in the corner of the kitchen he appeared genuinely surprised, as though he hadn't expected to actually find a rape victim there. Kagura had shifted into a sitting position, her knees hugged tightly to her chest. Her face buried in her knees. She was still whimpering softly.

Kyou walked back out of the room, leaving Hatori alone with Kagura. There was no point in staying; after all, Hatori could handle things better if he were alone. Kyou sat on the other side of Tohru from where Yuki was. As the cat took his seat, Kagura let out another shout, the sounds of a weak struggle emanated from the kitchen as Hatori tried to look at her. And you could hear her crying out "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Kyou let out a small sigh and covered his ears to block out the cries. He closed his eyes tightly so he couldn't see the concerned looks on Tohru and Yuki's faces, and so they couldn't see the tears threatening to form in his eyes.

Tohru looked over at Kyou, then to Yuki. The rat nodded understandingly and stood, moving to the cat's other side and sitting down again. Once again going against the nature of their relationship he put a hand on Kyou's shoulder. Kyou opened his eyes and looked at Yuki, the tears beginning to build up in his crimson eyes.

"Kyou….Kagura will be ok….it may take a while, but I'm sure she will be" Yuki smile reassuringly at his cousin, but Kyou just shook his head.

"You honestly think she'll ever be ok? There's no way…..and Haru….that…that bastard!

No one even cares that he did it! No even cares!"

"Of course we care….but the priority is to make sure that Kagura is alright…."

"Exactly" chimed in Tohru, resting her hand on Kyou's other shoulder, "that should make you happy…that she's our first concern…"

Kyou looked away and stood up quickly, "I know….your right…it's just…forget it!" he walked away, heading towards his favorite spot on the roof. This was his spot to get away and think, even if everyone else thought he was sulking. And tonight, his mind was filled with thoughts of the day's events. Kyou knew as well as any of the others that Haru, white Haru, would never in his life do such a thing. Haru hadn't been himself when the rape occurred. But dammit, did that really matter right now! The fact was...Haru, black or not, had raped Kagura….and that pissed Kyou off.

Kyou lay back on the roof, staring at the stars. He thought of how pitiful Kagura had looked, lying there, curled up into herself. Like that, she really hadn't been much of a threat. Seeing her like that…something inside of him cried out and wanted to hold her, comfort her. He wanted to defend her against the world, and he didn't know why.

A couple hours later, Kyou noticed Hatori leaving. He ventured down and wandered into the house, only to be stopped by Yuki. The rat looked at the orange haired boy and said softly "I just thought you'd like to know….Haru's back to white…I meant to tell you earlier….but while I was checking up on him…well…" he paused, knowing Kyou could figure out on his own that he was referring to Kagura's shouts, "so….she really won't let you touch her…huh?"

"Yeah…looks that way. Dammit…I never thought it would upset me that that woman wouldn't want to talk to me!" Kyou crossed his arms in frustration and tried to hide the sad look he cast at the kitchen. But Yuki didn't miss a beat.

"She's not in there anymore…." Kyou turned again to face the rat, and Yuki indicated the stairs. "Hatori moved her to a bed….not a fun experience…she cried and struggled the whole way. Anyways…I told him he could put her in your room….I hope you don't mind."

"Nah…it's ok…Tohru's still sitting with her?" Kyou's gaze locked onto the steps. Poor Kagura…things would never be the same…and it upset him. Maybe he really did care for her. But that was a pointless thing to realize now…wasn't it?

Yuki nodded as he tried to figure out the look on Kyou's face. The cat seemed distant, sad almost. True…it was a sad thing that had happened…but this look went beyond that, "Yes…Miss Honda is with her…Kagura actually managed to fall asleep. So if you wanted to visit her…now would be a good time."

"Yeah…I think I'll go up and sit with her awhile…give Tohru a break." Kyou headed towards the stairs. Yuki followed close behind him. He wasn't going to leave the cat alone even in close proximity to Haru, who was still in Yuki's room. Kyou stopped and looked over his shoulder at the rat, "You following me?"

"I'm just going to check on Haru…we figured it was best to leave him here until we figured out what to do with him…"

"LEAVE HIM ….." Kyou's voice dropped to a hiss, as he didn't want to wake Kagura, "leave him here! He's still in this house?"

"That's the other reason I thought I should sit with Haru…..I don't want you to get to him before Akito has a chance to deal with him…"

"Akito…hah! Akito probably planned this whole thing! It's just the kinda thing that sick bastard would do…."

"Weren't you going to go sit with Kagura?" Yuki brushed past Kyou and headed into his own room. Truth was, he knew that Kyou was right…this was just the kind of sick game Akito would play.

Kyou headed into his room, and looked at the scene in front of him. Kagura was restlessly sleeping on his bed, shifting constantly, whimpering softly in her sleep. Tohru was sitting at the bedside, watching Kagura closely. Kyou walked up behind Tohru and put a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly, "It's ok…it's only me…why don't you go get something ready for Yuki and yourself to eat…you never did get to finish making supper, must be hungry…I can sit with Kagura for awhile…"

Tohru gave him a small smile, trying to reassure him. She thought that it was sweet how concerned for Kagura he had become…if only the circumstances weren't like this… "Ok…I'll bring you up something when I get it ready?" As she asked the question she stood and made her way to the door.

Kyou took the spot Tohru had occupied near the bed, "Don't go through any trouble…" as Tohru exited and shut the door behind her, Kyou looked at Kagura. She looked troubled now as she slept…and was whimpering softly. Kyou brushed a few strands of hair from her face, and she cringed below his touch. "Kagura…." His voice was a soft whisper "all this time…I've run away…and now…my heart is changing…and…and now I cannot touch you"

Yuki was standing in the doorway of his own room, and as he overheard the cat's quiet statements, he could not help but feel a pang of sympathy for Kyou. The poor cat had finally decided that he wanted to be with Kagura...and now, perhaps nothing could ever come of it…


	5. Polluted

(I do not own FB.)

Kagura stirred restlessly in her sleep, the rape replaying itself in her mind, over and over. Her tears as she begged for mercy, the pain like fire between her thighs, Haru's bitter laughter at her misery. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she slept, unaware of Kyou's presence at her side. Her dreams were mixed with thoughts born of disgust and violation.

How could Kyou ever love her now? There was no hope, no hope. She could no longer be his alone. Everything she had wanted to be for only him had been stripped away. Even if he were to by some miracle decide he did have feelings for her, she could no longer allow herself to love him the way she had before, she no longer deserved him.

And how could she stand it, when one day a man would truly want to love her, even if that man were Kyou. How could she stand it if she were married, to feel again a man within her? It hurt to badly to think about it. How could she face her future husband, knowing that she truly feared anything that might breach her boundaries, and force it's way into her.

She was dirty, scarred, the stench of him clung to her, and she would never be able to remove it. She would always stink of Haru. Always. There was no being rid of him now! He was part of her, forever! And she hated it! She hated it!

She could never love Kyou, not like this. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of despair, and hatred. Her head was swimming, words running together in a steady stream of jumbled thoughts. 'Hate, love, pain, sorrow, trust, hope, death….death….'

She had died that day, and no one could bring her back. No one could touch her; she wasn't fit to be touch. How could anyone care for her, dirty thing that she was? Vile, foul creature. She should have stopped him, there must have been someway to keep him from doing those things to her. And yet she hadn't stopped it. Did that mean she had really wanted it? Had she asked for this? Was it her own fault? Her own fault….she shouldn't have provoked him, shouldn't have upset him…if she had let him be. Let him be…..could that have stopped it? Just leaving him alone?

What could she have done? How could it be helped? How could she be loved? How could she find any light to follow…the world was dark and cold, no one could be trusted, no one could be loved, no one could love her. 'Vile girl. Filthy girl. Polluted girl. Why should they care for you…disgusting, disgraceful?'

She sat up in the bed, screaming and sobbing. She buried her face in her hands and cried, tears seeping out between her fingers. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned on it's owner, slapping it away. "Don't touch me!"

She screamed, not worthy to be touched, so dirty, so foul. She didn't even look to see who it was. She didn't care. It didn't matter. She was already to far lost to the world. She could never return. Then she heard his soft concerned voice.

"Kagura….Kagura…please…." He sounded on the verge of tears…this boy who never cried. He never showed any emotion…least of all for her sake. She lifted her tearstained face, her bloodshot, red rimmed eyes focusing as best they could on his face. He looked sad…worried…why? He reached out for her again, and she pulled away, "Kagura…please…."

"Get away….just get away…leave me alone!" Kagura stared at Kyou in horror. Why should she trust him? What if he hurt her? He'd never cared before. He couldn't be sincere. She didn't deserve his concern. Filthy, vile, polluted, she was tainted now and always, and he could never love her.

"Kagura…I...please…I..."

But she wouldn't let him finish. "OUT! OUT! GET OUT! DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T COME NEAR ME GET OUT!" She broke down and sobbed again. Sitting as far from him as she could on the bed. She didn't want to be near him. Near anyone. Couldn't they smell it? The disgusting stench of what she had become. She was a piece of meat, only a piece of flesh, no longer living, but not yet dead, an empty shell whose life had been stolen.

She could feel it, burning still, grinding up inside her. Long gone, still it lingered. She could feel the poison pouring into her. Oh the awful stench of that foul poison. And how could Kyou love her now that this was what she was!

She sobbed and felt Kyou's weight on the bed beside her. He pulled her close so she could cry against his chest. And hard though she struggled, he would not release her. He held her close and placed his head on hers. "Kagura…it's ok…I'm here…I won't let anything happen…"

"Get…a…way…" She choked out between sobs, but he continued to hold her.

"I won't leave you Kagura…I won't….now please….please….calm down….it's ok…I'm with you….forever."

The full impact of Kyou's words was lost on her. But she calmed down slightly and sobbed against him, her hands grasping at the back of his shirt. She was to tired from crying to struggle anymore, and fell asleep like that, in his arms.


	6. Regrets

(I do not own FB. And a note, for those who have been wondering what's going on with Haru post rape, this chapter is for you. Basically I'm stepping away from the KyouxKagura portion of the story for a chapter.)

Haru sat at the foot of Yuki's bed. His head was cupped in his hands, his fingers twined through his white and black hair. He was no longer tied to the foot of the bed; there was no need now that he had gone back to his white self. A single thought kept running over and over through the cows mind. 'What have I done….what have I done….what have I…'

Tears threatened to form in his eyes. How could h have done this…there must be some mistake…surely he hadn't done this to Kagura…but he could not deny it…and he felt awful. He had been sitting in the bedroom like this since Yuki had come the first time to check on him after he became white again. Kagura's pained and frightened screams echoed through his brain. 'What have I done…?'

His hands grasped tighter at his hair, tears formed in the corner of his eyes. He could see Yuki in the doorway, there to guard Haru from the cat's rage. But Kyou had a right to be angry…everyone did…he wouldn't blame them if they all turned on him. "I…I'm scum…" He whispered to himself.

Yuki over heard the lament, and turned to face Haru. "You are not scum…"

"Yuki…Look at what I did…" He stared at the rat, his features expressionless, and his voice flat and broken. "How can you possibly not hate me……?"

The rat walked over and sat beside the younger boy. "Hatsuharu…I am angry with you…very angry…and what you did was a horrible thing to do…but I don't hate you…you weren't in your right mind...but that doesn't mean I plan on letting you get away without punishment…We just have to decide what yet…."

"Kill me…" the white haired boy said softly, "I deserve as much after what I did….and I can't go on living knowing that I did this to her…So just kill me and be done with it…"

"We are not going to kill you…"

"You should…"

"Akito will decide, and while it may be brutal…I doubt…."

"Akito…." Haru looked at the floor as he spoke. His eyes suddenly began to fill with rage. Yuki quirked a brow at him and reached for the rope, there was no way he was going to have black Haru loose in the house, and Yuki couldn't tell how close the boy was to transforming again.

"What about Akito, Haru?" he asked setting the ropes in his own lap for now, ready to be grabbed need be.

"I should have known better…that man…that…that monster of a man! He used me! Dammit!"

"Haru…stay calm…tell me what you mean…." Yuki urged the boy, wanting to know what had gone on….not wanting Haru to go black.

"Some boys…not members of the zodiac…but still Soumas, let me join them for drinks…I wasn't going to go…but….they talked me into it…I had gotten into an argument at home, and wasn't in the best of moods to begin with, after quite a few drinks…it wasn't that hard for him to convince me…."

"For who to convince you? Akito? What did Akito convince you to do? Haru, answer me!" Yuki watched the boy closely….apparently Kyou had been right, this was all Akito's fault in the end.

"Akito told me I should challenge Kyou…at the time, I was to wasted to realize how suspicious the scenario was….he knew…knew I would find out Kyou wasn't here…knew that Kagura would have chased him off…..knew all that…but why would Akito want me to hurt Kagura…that's what I don't get…I mean…Akito might not like Kyou…but lets face it…to send me after someone so close to that cat…well…it sounds more like a scheme he'd use on you…"

Yuki looked away sadly. The horrible truth had just been revealed to him, and he was taking it all in…he knew who Akito's true target had been, "Miss Honda…."

"What?" Haru cocked a brow at the rat, not quite getting what he was saying for a moment. Then after a brief pause, he also figured it out, "Oh…."

"Akito thought Miss Honda would be the one to get hurt…He figured Kagura would have pursued Kyou to where ever he had gone, leaving you and Miss Honda alone…this whole thing…he wanted to get to me…through Miss Honda…"

Suddenly a lanky shadow appeared in the doorway, "How very clever of you Yuki….yes…the plan didn't involve rape…and you were the intended victim…but this scenario works quite well, don't you agree? Who would have thought that disgusting cat actually had feelings for that thickheaded boar! Amazing…"

Akito stepped into the room, his face still half in shadows cast by the moon which was now shining into the room. The half of his face that could be seen bore a small smirk. He wore a black turtleneck, and black slack, he made for a very sinister sight, "Thank you, Haru…" He hissed out, "For accomplishing the task even better than I had planned, although you did hit the wrong target…"


	7. Kyou Learns the Truth

(Thank you all for your wonderful support of me during my time of need. It is hard to get inspired to write, or maintain focus on your plot, when you're having a rough time in your life, but because I appear to have at least a few fans, I cannot let you down. So, I have returned, and will continue this story. It may be slow going, because I am in the last four weeks of school, and have finals to study for, and papers to write. Thank you again for your support. The characters in Fruits Basket do not belong to me. And I'm sorry if Shigure seems a little out of character here, I was being bugged to write him in…but I had no clue how to make him act in this scenario. So I made him feel guilty because he wasn't there to prevent the rape.)

Akito stood there in the shadows, a cruel smile played across his lips, "Is the foul creature upset that the girl was raped? The one person in our family to actually be foolish enough to care about him…and now she has been destroyed…this is almost better than what I had planned…"

Yuki and Haru stared at him, as near to glaring as they dared. Yuki's eyes widened in surprise at the next figure to enter the room. Head hung low, his shaggy black locks hanging in front of his eyes, Shigure was nothing remotely resembling the happy go lucky pup he usually was.

'Come to think of it,' Yuki thought to himself as he watched the novelist enter, 'Shigure has been missing this whole time….I never really paused to wonder where he had gone.'

Shigure looked up, not even glancing at the head of the family. Just looking at Yuki, his eyes were large and sad, truly a puppy dog face. Akito turned to face Shigure.

"And thank you Shigure, for coming to visit with me….after all…I couldn't have left you here to interfere with my plans…" Once again the dog's gaze fell to the floor. He too had been used in this plot. Invited to Akito's home so that they could discuss Tohru's continuing to stay there. That was the story he had been told at least. But they hadn't really discussed that much at all. Instead Akito had found small topics to skip around and bide his time. Then, Hatori had come in, needing urgently to speak to Shigure about a matter at the house.

Akito insisted that he too be filled in on what had happened, though he suspected he already knew. He was surprised to hear that the boar had been the victim instead, and that Haru had actually gone so far as to rape her. Hearing that Kyou had been in hiding while the doctor was there. Hearing the story of how upset the vile creature had seemed. These stories intrigued him, and he insisted on being taken to the house with Shigure. Since his health was not in too bad of a condition at the moment, Hatori had allowed it.

Kyou heard voices coming from another room. He didn't want to lay Kagura down, in fear of her waking and going into another of her screaming frenzies, but he had no choice. He gently laid the girl back on the bed, her eyes snapped open and she saw him hovering over her and screamed. She screamed as loud as she could.

Yuki raced from the room, Akito watched him go, a look of indignance on his face at having been walked, or rather run, out on. Then he ambled after the rat. Kyou was back against the wall, his hair on end because the scream had caught him off guard. Kagura sat huddled in a corner, no longer screaming, instead sobbing and rocking slightly back and forth.

Akito stood in Kyou's doorway, gleefully taking in the scene. "She can't even stand to see you…can she, creature."

Kyou turned and his eyes widened at the sight of Akito. "You. You really…You.

I…" Kyou couldn't find words to express his hatred for the family head right then. "Why!" that was all he managed to get out that made any sense at all.

"Oh, she was not the intended victim" Akito said rather casually. "It is quite an intriguing outcome, though. You've lost the only one who ever cared."

Tohru had been standing in the background. She had been ever since they were in Yuki's room. But she wasn't going to listen to Akito say these things any longer, "That's…not true" She said softly, knowing how painful it could be invoke the man's wrath, weak though he was. "I care, about Kyou. I care about all the-"

"Shut up!" Akito shouted cutting her off. "Be quite! You know nothing about us! Nothing! How can you possibly care? How could you care?"

Akito's tirade sent Kagura curling into herself, a quivering little girl.

((Sorry this is so short. It was all I could come up with for the moment.))


	8. Tears

Chapter 8: Tears

(Ok, you know the deal. I don't own FB. I have however purchased a collar in hopes of capturing Shii-chan! Joking! Ok, this chap will hopefully be better than the last.)

Kagura listened to Akito shouting at Tohru. Tohru, sweet brave Tohru, standing against the man the Soumas feared. Kagura wished right then that she were stronger. She wanted to say that she still loved Kyou with all her heart, if for no other reason than to convince herself of it.

Besides, if she were stronger, she could have stopped all this. She curled around herself as tight as she could, wishing they would all just get out. She didn't want anyone near her. If they got too close, they might hurt her. They surely must all hate her. Her breath came out in choked sobs as she thought these things.

She didn't dare to look up. She didn't want to see Akito, leering at Kyou. She didn't want to see Kyou, staring at her, frightened. She didn't want to see Tohru, tears staining her face at the idea of any of her friends in pain. She didn't want to see Yuki, looking pityingly at Kyou.

Kagura wrapped her fingers tightly through her hair. With each sentence Akito uttered to Kyou, her grasp tightened until strands of chestnut hair broke loose from her scalp. Her eyes squeezed tight shut.

"Look at her, Kyou." Akito hissed. "She's broken, shattered." He smirked as Kyou narrowed his eyes miserably.

Please leave Kyou alone….she thought as she cried to herself.

"Please, Akito, leave him alone" It was as if Kagura had spoken her thoughts, but the voice was not hers. Tohru had said the very thing Kagura was thinking.

Akito cast a glare in Tohru's direction. "Fool, think about it…." He turned to Kyou again, though he continued to talk to Tohru about the cat as though Kyou himself wasn't there, "That creature always ran from her. If he hadn't, she wouldn't have been alone, it's his fault."

No! Kagura screamed in her mind. It's not his fault! It's not!

"It's not Kyou's fault…" Once again Tohru's words echoed the boar's thoughts.

Akito glared at the outspoken girl heatedly, "What do you know, foolish girl! Don't speak! Get out of this room."

Tohru looked at Akito for a moment, and then the man practically yelled, "Out! Or I'll have your memories erased at once!"

"Just go…" Kyou muttered miserably. It really was all his fault, he had left her alone. If he hadn't run from her, she would never have been there, alone. He should have gotten back sooner too.

"But…" Tohru started to protest. Yuki reached for her arm to guide her out of the room as Akito turned towards Shigure.

"Shigure! Get Hatori back over here, right now!"

Shigure shook his head and said in a half present tone, "She's leaving…no need to -"

"Do as I say!" Akito half snapped, not at all pleased at being questioned. Shigure shuffled dejectedly from the room and went to the phone, picking up the receiver, but not dialing right away.

Kagura curled up tighter. All this, all because of her. So many problems, because she had been too weak to prevent this. All her fault. All her fault. The tears came, she couldn't stop them. They rushed down her cheeks and her body heaved with violent sobs.

Akito watched the boar crying. He turned to Kyou again. "See, you vile creature….she can't recover, and this is your fault in the end…" He turned and walked out only to see Shigure with the undialed phone. "I told you to call Hatori!" He sighed exasperatedly. "I'm going back to the main house now. Just get me a ride, Shigure"

Shigure remained silent as he dialed the phone, calling to get the malicious family head a ride.

Kyou sat in his room. His gaze locked upon Kagura. He looked away as a few tears slipped from his eyes. If he hadn't run…if he had been there, it wouldn't have happened. It was his fault. He should have just been there to fight the stupid cow.

Tohru stayed in her room, at Yuki's request she would stay there till Akito had gone. Yuki wandered to the door of Kyou's room. Kagura remained huddled in a ball at the corner of the room. And Kyou…one could tell by looking at him that Akito had gotten to him.

"He's wrong; it's not your fault." The rat said softly from the doorway. Kyou grunted in response, swallowed by what-ifs, "You had no way of knowing something like this would happen." Yuki continued, but the cat wasn't paying attention.

(Bah, another short one.)


	9. I just can't love you

(I do not own FB. I do not follow the Manga, and I have twisted the character's personalities to fit how I believe they might react in this situation. I think that covers everything.)

Chapter 9: I just can't love you.

Kagura sat in absolute silence. She stared out the window in Kyou's room, where she had stayed the night alone, just staring out that window, thinking about what she had become now. Kyou was a constant in her thoughts. But what drifted through her head now were not thoughts of love.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the rest of the household had just finished a silent breakfast. Kyou ate as he glared at the table, lost in his own thoughts of how he could have possibly prevented this from happening. Tohru stared at her plate, picking at the food, but not eating much. Shigure refused to eat at all, feeling entirely responsible for what had happened. Yuki stared at the wall across from him, sighing occasionally as he pondered what might be done too Haru, who was taken back to the main estate for punishment, though Hatori had had to take it upon himself to bestow the punishment, as Akito wouldn't do so.

Tohru blinked and stood up, taking her still half full plate into the kitchen. And emerging shortly with a full dish, only to be met by curious gazes from the others, "Kagura needs to eat too. I doubt she'll feel like it, but she really does need food so she can keep up her strength and try to recover." The young girl explained.

Yuki nodded, and Kyou stood up walking over to Tohru and holding his had out for the plate, "I want to take it to her."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Yuki said quietly as he looked at the floor, "I don't think she wants much male contact right now, understandably so."

Tohru nodded and replied softly "I think maybe Yuki is right. It's not that you've done anything wrong of course, Kyou! But I just don't know if-"

"I want to take her the damn food!" Kyou snapped before managing to calm himself down, "I know that she doesn't need a guy right now. But it's me. I mean, I'm the boy she's always loved, right? I need to be there for her." His tone carried unmistakable sadness. Regret that he hadn't notice his own feelings sooner. It seemed to almost plead that he wouldn't lose her because of this.

Tohru relented and handed him the plate. Yuki rolled is eyes in a 'here we go' expression and settled back onto the floor beside the table. Kyou made his way to his room and tapped on the door, "Kagura? It's me, Kyou."

"Go away." The voice that seeped out of the room through the closed door was cracked and strained, worn out from the crying. It was such a weak voice, not at all the one he was used to."

"I brought food." The cat said persistently, as he knocked again. At least she was speaking calmly now instead of screaming. This was progress.

"I'm not hungry." She mumbled so that he could barely hear her. Inside the room she continued to stare out the window. The wind rustled through the leaves outside. It was a beautiful day outside, but Kagura didn't care. In her mind, it was raining, a storm of thoughts that wouldn't stop. One thought ringing through that she didn't want to have, but couldn't get rid of. Tears still trickled in a steady stream down her cheeks.

Kyou walked into the room, he wasn't going to let her deter him, "Kagura, you have to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday." He walked over and sat the dish on the floor in front of her, along with the chopsticks, and hoped she would eat.

Kagura's gaze never left the window as she pushed the food aside with her foot, "I said I'm not hungry."

Kyou went to put a hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away before he could. It was obvious she still didn't want touched, but at least she wasn't screaming at him. He let out a heavy sigh, joining her in staring out the window as he spoke, "Kagura. Don't keep doing this. I…I know you're angry. I should have been there to stop it. I'm sorry."

She was silent. Not that she thought it was his fault, she wanted so bad to let him know that that was the furthest thing from her mind. He wasn't at all responsible. The truth was it was all her fault. But when she opened her mouth to speak about what had happened, all that came out was a small whimper.

"Right, I just thought…you know. I figured I should let you know that I wished I had been there to stop it." Kyou moved to get up, glancing at her as he did so, and continued to speak. "I would give anything to take it back, to be able to make it so this never happened…I just wanted to tell you that. And…and, I realized…maybe I care...a lot more than I've let on."

"Oh." Kagura choked out as tears welled up in her eyes and she trembled slightly. "Oh, Kyou!" She managed to get out at last with a strangled sob, "It…it's not your fault! I…I shouldn't have let it happen! And. I'm so sorry, Kyou! I want to say I still love you! I really do…but…"

Kyou stood there, slightly stunned at this outburst. She wasn't screaming, just quietly crying, and choking out words between ragged sob, "Kagura…no…" It wasn't her fault! How could she even think that! And she couldn't be about to say what he thought she was. Kagura would never, never say that! She was a constant in his life!

"Kyou, I just can't!" She sobbed her body quivering as she buried hear face against her knees, "I can't…" This was the thought that had haunted the boar all night and morning. She could say that she still loved Kyou. She wanted to believe that she could, but it was impossible. Things could never be the same.

Kyou stepped towards her, he wanted to hold her, to let her know that he truly loved her, and that they could get through this, "Kagura, you couldn't have stopped it…and…please…just don't give up yet. I…I'm here for you, forever."

"Please, just leave…I can't handle this. I can't love you Kyou, I can't! It hurts too much to love…anyone!" She stammered the words with surprising calm as she remained with her face buried in her knees.

Kyou sighed and made his way to the door. He opened it, and paused, turning back to face her, "Kagura, if you change your mind again, I'll be waiting for you."

The young girl heard the door slip shut and broke down into body shaking sobs. The one thing she thought would always be in her life, her love for Kyou, was gone. Well, not gone so much as subdued. The feelings were still there, but they frightened her. The thought of being close to people scared her.

((Finally, another chappie up! Anyways, too many people to respond to individual reviews. It will be a while until my next one too. I'm having trouble with the story, and I can't figure out how to get them together, or if I should get them


	10. End Note

**Author's Note:**

_Dear Readers,_

_I have decided that the previous chapter is the end of the story. But don't worry, it's not really that the twisted tale is over, just that this first part of it is. That's right, I plan to write a sequel. In fact, the first chapter is up and ready. The problem with trying to finish the tale on this particular story, is that it takes years to even begin to heal from a rape, and I can't write years worth of material. So, the sequel will skip a few years ahead. Look for it, entitled "Learn to Love Again"_

_Soul Raider 116_


End file.
